Breakups are hard. There’s never really an easy way to say goodbye. Maybe the two of you saw it coming, maybe you both just fell out of love. When that time comes and all is said and done, where does the love go? After letting time pass you find some closure. Your ex tells you that they’ve met someone new and would like you to meet them.
What do you do? Will meeting the new partner hurt you? Will it bring you down? Will it set you back or make you jealous? Many questions are going through your head, but in this situation it’s natural to be confused and emotional. .
We want to believe that there’s more to life than what meets the eye. Being single takes some getting used to; we no longer have someone there to share our lives with. We forget to enjoy life and all the amazing things that are right in front of us. There comes a time when we have to move on from our past. Not to forget it, but to learn and heal from it. It doesn’t matter how it ended or why it ended, there might even be a time when you miss them. You need to stay strong and keep the memories that you once shared alive.
Building Up The Courage
Something to understand is, as scared as you are in meeting your ex’s new partner, they’re just as afraid of meeting you. So go easy on yourself. Have a glass of wine and calm down. It could be a good thing meeting the new “It” person. It could help you see how much your ex has changed (or haven’t changed for that matter!). It could help you see why the relationship wasn’t working.
You want to make sure you have a new outfit. Don’t wear something your ex has seen you in, or picked out for you at one time. This is the new you. You want to stand out. Hit the gym or go for a run that day. You want to look fresh and feel confident. Get your hair done as well. Hey, no one said this would be a walk in the park!
Wear your signature fragrance. Have one drink…but don’t get drunk, whatever you do! It will help you be less nervous. Make sure to have a perfectly timed exit beforehand. Dress and act as if you have somewhere else to be after. Maybe even a date.
Don’t Be Jealous When You Meet
Don’t come off as rude! On the contrary, be really, really nice. This will make others have respect for you, you will also have respect for yourself. You want to be nice, but keep your distance. Don’t become best friends. It’s okay if your ex’s new partner is hot. What did you think; they were going to date Freddy Krueger? The key is to not compare yourself to them. What you two once had is now over. Don’t be bitter. Be better! Obviously, the more acrimonious the split, the harder it will be – especially if the current partner the one your ex left you for. Be strong!
You need to remember that even if this new partner wasn’t in the picture, you and your ex would still be over. Be happy for your ex and take the high road. When you are out and you see them hug or kiss, think of all the times your ex bugged the shit out of you.
The Talk
It’s going to be difficult to think of things to say. You don’t want to say too much, but you also don’t want to say too little. Be upbeat. You don’t want them to feel as they are being interrogated by Olivia Benson on Law & Order: SVU. Here are some conversation tips:
- Keep it light, ask easy questions about the person’s job, movies they might like etc.
- Don’t talk yourself up too much. Trying to make them jealous of your “awesome” life could backfire and make you look desperate.
- Try to be happy for them, and respond genuinely when they talk about their relationship.
- Try not to overstay your welcome.
- Don’t talk about you and your ex’s relationship – no matter whether it’s positive or negative!
- Leave on a high note; announce that you’re leaving confidently after a joke or a sympathetic moment.
Remember: KEEP IT SIMPLE.
Make Sure To Laugh
As much as you are judging the new partner, keep in mind, they too are judging you. You might be overwhelmed with feelings but you need to keep it together and make it through it. Make sure you are laughing and having fun. You have to fake it to make it.
Meeting the new love in our ex’s life takes courage, strength and guts. When I met my ex’s new partner I wasn’t ready. I had no time to go over the things I wanted to say. We were together for five years and had only been broken up one month. My ex was already talking to the new partner when we were living together. Yup…I know how to pick them! When I met his new partner I was a mess and didn’t look my best. It also didn’t help that we looked like twins!
Saying The Last Goodbye
It may have been hard to face this, but you did. Part of you still wants to call your ex, but you know that isn’t the right thing to do. Or part of you could be happy that it is over. After meeting the new partner you might come to understand that having them in your life isn’t the right thing.
Sometimes in life, there are no mistakes, no taking things back, no sorrys, no holding on, sometimes the only thing left to do is say…goodbye.
